Franco's Birth Story
OCTOBER 7, 2020
The Birth of Franco
As told by Franco’s Mom and The Birth Center client, Rebecca
My second baby was recently born at The Birth Center with Ruth and her team. Before I tell you about that birth experience, it’s important to go back and share the story of my first baby’s birth three years ago.
Finding a Provider in Morocco
In March 2017, I learned I was pregnant with my first baby. My husband, Tony, and I had been living in Tangier, Morocco, for about six months, and we didn’t speak either of the primary languages, French or Arabic. I asked around for a doctor who spoke English, but I later realized that was not the best criteria to look for.
After traveling that summer, including a month studying French in Toulouse, Tony and I returned to Morocco when I was about six months pregnant. That was when it became very real to me that I was having a baby in Morocco. Over the next few weeks, I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Natural Hospital Birth, all the while learning how to advocate for myself during labor and birth.
I put together a birth plan and went to my next appointment ready to garner my doctor’s support for my choices. However, his answers to most of my questions were not what I was hoping for. He had a C-section rate of more than 50 percent, regularly performed episiotomies, and didn’t allow any labor to go longer than 24 hours. He reminded me that he was the doctor and told me I needed to trust him. I, on the other hand, wanted a partnership and told him he would have to earn my trust.
Because he wasn’t willing to commit to my wishes, I left his office that day and never went back. Thanks to connections I made at a La Leche League meeting and in social media groups, I eventually found a doctor and a private clinic that seemed willing to support me in my goal of having an unmedicated birth. Similar to some birth centers in the United States, the private clinics in Morocco have birthing, delivery, and recovery rooms, along with an operating room in case of an emergency. They are staffed with nurse-midwives, and a doctor attends the deliveries. I had flirted with the idea of home birth and then an unassisted birth when I couldn’t find a home birth midwife, but my mother had a serious hemorrhage when she gave birth to me, so I opted for the safety of a birth accompanied by medical professionals.
Around 35 weeks, I was due for my next appointment, and it was the first time I met my new doctor. She spent an hour and a half talking with me and agreed to most of my requests — specifically, avoiding epidural, episiotomy, and forceps delivery. The one point where she would not budge was delivery position; she preferred I be on my back because that’s the only position she had ever seen patients use for birthing. I felt as though the doctor was willing to meet me halfway, so I decided to continue my care at the private clinic.
Starting Labor and Giving Birth to My Daughter
When I was 38 weeks, two days, I began feeling what I now realize were contractions throughout the day. I walked to meet my husband at a café, but when we left, I decided I should not walk home and took a taxi. Because it was my first pregnancy and I was 38 weeks, I did not think there was any chance I was in labor. We were not ready. I had bought diapers only the day before and my mom was on an airplane with all the baby clothes we needed.
As the day went on, I couldn’t relax and couldn’t sleep. I started to run a bath, then realized the contractions were less than a minute apart. In Morocco, you have to take all of your own stuff to the birth center, so we packed a bag and called the doctor. When I described what was happening, she said we should go to the clinic.
We arrived about 11 p.m., and the staff performed the first of many cervical checks. My memory tells me I was three centimeters dilated, but Ruth said I was probably farther along than that. I labored all night with my husband’s support. We kept the lights out and were the only people there in the clinic, which was wonderful. I was in the zone, but the staff kept interrupting me to do cervical checks; they were extremely painful and probably not necessary. I didn’t know to tell them not to do cervical checks because I was so focused on the big-ticket items that would lead to the cascade of interventions I didn’t want.
When the doctor arrived around 3 a.m., I was 8-9 centimeters. Not long after, she said it was time to push. I wasn’t totally ready to push, and again, this was something I didn’t anticipate I should tell them not to do. But they said the baby’s heart rate was dropping, and I had to start pushing. They didn’t make me immediately get on the table, so I continued in an upright position, gripping onto my husband and leaning on various pieces of furniture.
I felt like gravity was helping, but the doctor told me I needed to get on my back. I was angry, but I knew the end was near and the baby was coming soon. After I pushed for a bit, the doctor asked if I wanted her to try the forceps. She told me her doctor had used them with both of her deliveries and “her daughters came out fine.” I asked, “Is the baby’s life at risk?” When she said no, I told her to drop it. As I was about to deliver, the doctor said they needed to get the baby out right away. The midwife got on the delivery table and pushed on my belly. I didn’t even think to say, “Get off of me.” I wish I had.
I tore and had hemorrhoids from delivering on my back and having my baby pushed out of me, which is not an evidence-based technique. Still, my daughter was healthy and I healed quickly. I left that birth feeling at peace with it.
Expecting a Second Baby During the Pandemic
In early 2020, we learned we were expecting a second baby in October. Although I thought I would give birth again in Morocco with a different doctor, we left the country at the end of March because of the pandemic. We decided to stay with my parents in Sacramento while pregnant, thinking we would go back to Morocco by August at the latest.
Through my insurance company, I found a women’s health clinic where I could receive prenatal care. I didn’t want to complicate things, and I wasn’t familiar with the American maternity care system. They weighed me, took my blood pressure, sent me for labs, and did my anatomy scan. It felt like the minimum of care, but I still didn’t think we were staying here, so I didn’t spend any time looking into other options.
In early August, we found out that the border would not open in time for us to return to Morocco for the birth. That’s when we started looking for a preschool for our daughter and a birth center where I could deliver. After I found The Birth Center online, I had a long phone conversation with Ruth before scheduling a visit with her. I talked to her about what I was looking for and set up a tour. She said she probably had room for me, and I was happy to learn The Birth Center was in-network with my insurance.
I was 33 weeks when I had my last appointment with the women’s health clinic, which took five minutes. The next day, I saw Ruth, and that visit lasted 45 minutes. After palpating my belly and telling me that the baby was breech, she suggested some things I could do, including going to a chiropractor for the Webster Technique. Ruth seemed confident the baby would turn — there was plenty of time and lots of fluid and space. After two chiropractic appointments, the baby did turn. I am very grateful that Ruth noticed my baby was breech and provided me with support getting him to turn .
Going Into Labor and Delivering at The Birth Center
Around 2 p.m. on October 6, during my 38th week of pregnancy, my water broke pretty dramatically. It was just a couple of days later than when my first labor began. I let Ruth know, and she said we had to wait for contractions to start to go to The Birth Center. Around 6 p.m., I began having mild contractions, and they intensified when I nursed my daughter before putting her to bed. Soon after that, though, the contractions slowed down and I fell asleep.
At about midnight, Ruth called and asked for an update. I told her the contractions had slowed, and she informed me that because I tested positive for Group B Strep, I needed to be in active labor 18 hours after my water broke. If not, she would have to admit me to the hospital where I would most likely be induced. The prospect of taking Pitocin, and going to a hospital I had never visited, filled me with terror. Ruth recommended I drink castor oil to get contractions going again. So I sent my father to a 24-hour pharmacy and, to stay awake, started walking around the block with my husband.
At 1 a.m., I drank the castor oil with some orange juice, which was not that bad.It’s a laxative, so it totally cleared my system. Contractions did restart, but they were not very strong or painful. Ruth told me that as long as they continued, I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital, which calmed my nerves. I did some reading and learned that nipple stimulation could help intensify contractions. It was then that I realized my contractions sped up earlier in the evening because I was nursing my daughter. I don’t usually nurse her in the middle of the night, but when she woke up to use the bathroom around 4 a.m., I offered, and she was thrilled. It was like Christmas morning to her. I let her nurse for almost an hour, and my contractions went from every 10 minutes to every five minutes. It got so uncomfortable that I was having trouble lying there to continue breastfeeding her.
By the time she finished, it was 5 a.m. My contractions stayed about five minutes apart for the next couple of hours. I talked to Ruth around 7, and she said to meet her at The Birth Center at 8 a.m. so she could administer the antibiotics I needed for GBS. When we arrived, Ruth checked my cervix and said I was five centimeters dilated and mostly effaced. However, the baby was partially posterior, which was why I was having back labor and not progressing quickly.
I walked around for about an hour and a half, still having contractions about five minutes apart, and ate some food. Ruth was getting everything organized and lining up the doula and nurse who would attend the birth. At about 11 a.m., my contractions intensified. The doula, Amy, arrived, and although I hadn’t met her before labor, I was so grateful she was there. I appreciated the coaching she offered and needed it to stay relaxed.
Ruth told me the baby’s head was behind my cervix, not on top of it, and suggested various exercises and movements to reposition him. I tried sitting on the birthing ball, making circles with my pelvis, laying on the bed in a spinal twist with one of my legs toward my chest, and squatting with each contraction.
Labor was really painful — more so than I remembered it being with my daughter. Amy told me to relax my face and lower my tone, and my husband was great with moral support. Amy noticed a change in contractions and thought I might be almost ready to push, but Ruth checked and said the baby still wasn’t in the optimal position, so she asked me to lie down and twist again. She also suggested that I lie down for the delivery, either on my side or on my back, with the hope that the baby would twist on the way out. In addition, going against gravity would slow down delivery and hopefully prevent tearing again. I trusted Ruth completely and was happy to follow her recommendations.
I pushed for about 20 minutes, with Amy and Tony on either side of me supporting my legs. Franco was born at 12:45 p.m. on October 7, weighing 7 pounds, 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches. The cord was short, so Ruth placed him on my belly. I couldn’t see him so I kept asking, “What does he look like?” I was so relieved to be finished with such a painful labor. My husband described that moment when our son was born as euphoric.
Following the birth, I was still in pain as I waited to deliver the placenta. In Morocco, they had pushed on my uterus until the placenta came out. It was painful but quick. This time, Ruth was letting the cord blood go back into Franco’s body.
After I birthed the placenta, my husband cut the cord, and I could finally see Franco, who has dark hair and olive skin, like Tony. We had planned to name the baby Francisco after Tony’s father, Franklin, who passed away last month. When we saw him, we knew it was the perfect name.
We stayed at The Birth Center for about four more hours (postpartum care), during which time the nurse, Jenny, checked Franco’s and my vitals over and over. Ruth examined Franco really carefully, and I was impressed that we were cared for so diligently. I do not remember that many vital checks in Morocco.
Learning About Fussiness and Tongue Ties
For the first week and a half after Franco’s birth, there were no problems with breastfeeding. He was very calm and easier than we remembered our daughter being at that age However, a couple days before our two-week postpartum appointment, he started getting really fussy, needed to burp a lot, and was very difficult to settle. It seemed like he needed at least a dozen tries at the breast to get enough to eat.
But this behavior didn’t raise any red flags for me because I had a similar experience with my daughter for the first few months of her life. She took all her naps while I was wearing her in the baby carrier, seemed hungry constantly, and fussed the rest of the time. I had hoped Franco might be lower key than my daughter, but when things started to get rough, I just shrugged and told myself, “He’s like his sister.”
Then, at my two-week appointment with Ruth, she saw me trying to breastfeed Franco and said, “He must be going through a growth spurt.” As we walked back to a room, she looked at me and said with so much kindness, “He’s not a happy baby.” I was shocked and asked, “You mean this isn’t normal?” Ruth explained that a 2-week-old baby should eat for 15-20 minutes, burp, and be relatively calm the rest of the time.
During the appointment, Ruth examined Franco’s mouth very carefully and found he had a tongue tie. She explained that when he tried to eat, he struggled to stay latched. The tongue tie caused him to swallow air which was why he needed to be burped so often. I felt my whole body tense up because I realized that my daughter’s infancy might not have been normal, and that she probably had a tongue tie, too.
Ruth spent a long time coaching me on how to achieve a better latch, even with the tie, but it was a lot of work for my arms. Ruth offered to clip the tie the next day. I told her, “If you think it will help, then let’s do it.” I went home and did some reading about tongue ties and couldn’t find any reason why we shouldn’t have the procedure done.
After that appointment, I was so emotional for the next 24 hours while we waited to have the tie clipped. I kept wondering why I wasn’t taught what normal breastfeeding looked like. I wish I had known what to look for or that my daughter’s fussiness might not have been normal — that there could have been something wrong with her mouth. What I want people to know is that you need a second opinion to know what’s normal.
The following day, Ruth clipped Franco’s tongue tie. It bled a little, but after about 15 minutes, I nursed him, and he ate peacefully for 15-20 minutes, I patted his back, and he burped. I had tears in my eyes. All of the months being stuck at my parents’ house, living a life we didn’t plan, had led to this point. We were able to help our son and ourselves.
Reflecting on My Birth Experiences
In Morocco, I had to defend my right to have the birth I wanted. I was on guard the entire time. Still, we were giddy because we had just become parents, and there’s no feeling bigger than that.
After our son’s birth, we were giddy because we felt so safe and supported. We also knew it could have gone very differently, if we hadn’t found Ruth and her team. It really confirmed what we both believed, that most births can happen without medical interventions with guidance from expert hands. Advocating for yourself, like I had to do in Morocco, is exhausting. It was so empowering to place our trust in Ruth.
In hindsight, COVID has taken from us, but it’s also given us things that wouldn’t have been possible — the experience of fully trusting health professionals and a feeling of peace for me and my husband.
For more information about our prenatal care and birth services at The Birth Center, click here: https://www.sactobirth.com/prenatal and https://www.sactobirth.com/birth-services
#safebirth #sacramentobirthcenter #sacramentonursemidwives #sactobirth #birthcenterbirth