Abigail's Birth Story
SEPTEMBER 5, 2020
The Birth of Abigail Elizabeth
As told by Abigal’s Mom and The Birth Center client, Emily
When I was pregnant with my first baby, a close friend had a great experience at a birth center in another area. After having a couple miscarriages, I had been focused on a natural, holistic way of being to help me sustain pregnancy. I knew I didn’t want the pressures from the hospital. As long as it wasn’t medically necessary, I didn’t want interventions, and I planned to have an unmedicated birth.
When I met Ruth, her confident nature gave me confidence. I knew she had attended hundreds of births and had so much experience. She was the right fit for me because I didn’t feel like she was someone I could complain to. Even though I’m a social worker and would consider myself an emotional person, when I met Ruth, I realized I wouldn’t want a shoulder to cry on if I was struggling to give up. Ruth gave me confidence that she would stay focused and get the job done. That’s the personality I needed to keep me focused on my goal. I knew Ruth would be committed to the kind of plan I wanted.
When I went into labor with my son two years ago, I had waited about six hours to call Ruth. I was at home, enjoying labor. When I got to The Birth Center, I was 7 centimeters dilated. After about 13 hours of labor from start to finish, my son was born, and it was truly amazing. My first birth was with Ruth, and it was an incredible experience.
When I became pregnant again, it made sense to go with Ruth once more. Plus, we live even closer to The Birth Center now. I was expecting a quicker labor, and Ruth asked me not to wait six hours to call her this time.
Working Through My Fears and Starting Labor
On September 4, I was a couple days past my due date. In addition to our 2-year-old son, we have an 11-year-old daughter who is adopted. I had read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, which includes many birth stories, and I enjoyed learning about the mind-body connection. That Friday night, I started feeling scared about being enough for my children and meeting their needs.
I prayed, journaled, and talked to my husband to process all of those feelings. I wrote out all of my concerns about my capacity to have three kids. My husband was supportive and understanding, and I believe it was important for me to acknowledge those fears and work through them.
About 6:30 the next morning, I woke up in labor. But was I in labor? I wasn’t sure. Even several hours later, I was still having mild to moderate contractions that were about 10 minutes apart, but I wasn’t convinced.
I was getting tired because I hadn’t been waking up that early, and I wanted to take a nap. I wasn’t sure if I should sleep or try to stay upright, so I called Ruth. She said, “If you can fall asleep, you should sleep.” So around 11 a.m., I slept for about 45 minutes.
It was my dad’s birthday, and my parents came over. While we visited, I was quietly breathing through my contractions, which were 5-10 minutes apart. At about 4 p.m., my contractions were two minutes apart for an hour and at a moderate intensity. It felt manageable, but I called Ruth. I finally felt convinced I was in labor.
Since my contractions were so frequent, she decided to have me come in. We arrived there a little before 6 p.m. Ruth met us at the door, and I said, “They hurt now.” We laughed because earlier in the day I had shared with her that the contractions weren’t very painful. That changed quickly, and Ruth chuckled at me.
Arriving at The Birth Center and Giving Birth
With my first birth, we were at The Birth Center for about three hours before my son was born, and I lay down and slept in between contractions. When we arrived this time, I was 5-6 centimeters. I thought, “Did I come in too early?” But I didn’t. I’m glad I was there. We had the same doula, also named Ruth. She was sweet and helpful, massaging my back during contractions because I had back labor.
Both Ruths said we had to get the baby to turn. Even though I wasn’t sure I could, I attempted squats and kept doing what they said to do. I thought, “It doesn’t matter how much this hurts. I’m going to listen to what Ruth is saying.” She would give instruction, and the doula would help me execute it.
The last hour of labor was the hardest. I told my husband, “I understand why people get epidurals!” But I knew it wouldn’t go on forever. I thought of it in terms of a race, having run races in the past. I knew I could trust Ruth and her practice. Shortly after arriving, she asked me if I wanted the tub filled up, but I decided against it. I wanted to focus on staying upright and active to get the baby to turn.
I heard my husband ask Ruth about leaving to pick up food for dinner, and Ruth encouraged him to have food delivered instead. I felt that was a good sign. I used the birthing ball, and labor progressed pretty quickly in the grand scheme of things. I remember Ruth telling me, “As soon as she turns, it will happen really quickly.”
I decided to lean against the counter, and my water broke while I was standing. Suddenly, I was having a contraction, leaning against the counter, and I felt the urge to push. I mentioned it to the doula and said, “I think the baby’s coming.” She called for Ruth, who had stepped into the other room. For some unnecessary reason, I decided to call loudly for her, too, which was contrary to the calm disposition I had been focused on. When she came into the room, she was surprised I was standing and asked if I could make my way to the bed. I wasn’t sure I could move, but eventually I lay down on my back as that was most comfortable for me.
After a handful of pushes, the baby came out with one arm up. Ruth placed her on my chest, and that moment was absolute perfection. We also confirmed she was a girl. (I hadn’t been sure because the ultrasound technician had been hesitant.)
Abigail Elizabeth was born at 9:02 p.m. September 5, weighing 8 pounds, 2 ounces and measuring 20.5 inches long. She was beautiful — screaming and crying. It was the best sound ever.
About a half hour later, I delivered the placenta, and her cord was cut. It was so special to have her and hold her. I was proud of her and proud of myself. It was hard, but I did it. I felt empowered, which is what it feels like when you finish a race. I loved looking at her when my husband, Greg, was holding her. It was amazing to know she was OK. She was so alert and nursed right away with a good latch.
We were having a good time at that point, and I felt ready to go home and be at peace there. I was grateful we didn’t have to stay overnight and could be home four hours later. We were ready to enjoy being a family of five.
The next morning when our older two children met Abigail, it was so precious. My 24-month-old son looked at my tummy and said, “Baby all gone?” My 11-year-old daughter held the baby and admired her cuteness. It was very sweet for all of us to be together.
Reflecting on My Experience at The Birth Center
Never once for either birth at The Birth Center did I have to advocate for my desire to move around, to be unmedicated or natural. I never had to articulate it. That was always the plan for me and for them. I couldn’t imagine being in a hospital, and I’m grateful I didn’t have to wear a mask. I loved the intimacy and privacy of just having my husband, midwife, and doula.
The support of the doula was really important to me. My husband was there, but he wouldn’t have felt comfortable providing the actual physical support, like rubbing my back. Silent support fits his personality, and it was beautiful having the doula as that one point person.
Physically, I knew my body was capable — that it was made to do this. Running taught me how to go on the mental journey. While I was in labor, it helped me to think of all the women who had done this before. I thought about women in fields, laboring while they were working. I had read birth stories and watched birth videos.
Plus, I had given birth before. My second birth was only an hour longer, 14 hours total, and much harder, but I knew it was possible. What an empowering experience!
I’m also grateful for Ruth and her team’s support with breastfeeding. I’ve done it before, but it was wonderful knowing their help was available. Even though my son just weaned a few months before Abigail’s birth, I needed help remembering. It’s different with a newborn. I love that there are several postpartum checks, where they make sure everything is going well with nursing and with my health.
For more information about our prenatal care and birth services at The Birth Center, click here: https://www.sactobirth.com/prenatal and https://www.sactobirth.com/birth-services
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