Sophie's Birth Story
NOVEMBER 24, 2020
The Birth of Sophie
As told by Sophie’s Mom and The Birth Center client, Keely
When I had my first baby, I delivered at a birth center in Southern California, and it was great partnering with midwives and not being in the hospital. By the time I got pregnant a second time, we were living in Sacramento. I had heard about Ruth and The Birth Center, so I went for a tour. I knew right away that I wanted to see Ruth for my prenatal care. At the birth center in Orange County, there were more frills, but what I like about Ruth is her competency. My second birth was so much better; Ruth was awesome.
After my second baby, and before my most recent pregnancy, I had two miscarriages. The first loss happened at 10 weeks, and the next one was at 13 weeks. Ruth couldn’t find a heartbeat, so I had an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. She sent a card in the mail that read, “Nothing I can say can make it better, but I hope to see you again in the future.”
Last spring, I learned I was pregnant again. At my 12-week appointment, I burst into tears. Ruth asked, “What’s wrong?” I told her I was so scared because the last time I was there, she couldn’t find a heartbeat. Ruth took me straight back and did a heartbeat check right away. That kind of care meant so much to me.
I was nauseous my entire pregnancy, but other than that, everything was normal. My due date was December 1, 2020, and Ruth confirmed the baby was head down at 36 weeks.
Convincing Myself I Was in Labor
On November 24, I woke up at about 4 a.m. to go to the bathroom. I noticed some back pain, and I told my husband, John, “My back really hurts.” All of my babies have been posterior, and I always have back pain. As soon as I told John that my back hurt, he knew I was in labor.
I wasn’t convinced, though, because I was able to go back to sleep until about 7. John started timing my contractions, which were anywhere from 6-10 minutes apart and 30-60 seconds long. He texted Ruth and let her know what was happening, but things did quiet down.
I had my 39-week appointment at 8:30 that morning, so I decided to bring the stuff I had packed for the birth and a tablet for the kids. When I got to The Birth Center, Ruth checked me, and I was five centimeters dilated and 80 percent effaced. Ruth said she could admit me or, since my contractions had stopped, I could walk around. She told me the baby might be born soon or maybe not until the evening when the body naturally quiets down. My other babies had been born at night or early in the morning, so I figured this baby wouldn’t come until the evening.
We left The Birth Center and went to a nearby shopping center, where we got some coffee and had something to eat. The contractions started to get painful, and I had to stop, bend over, and let each one run its course. We were there for about an hour, and my contractions increased to 3-5 minutes apart.
John and I knew Ruth had a full day of appointments, so I asked, “Should we go home or go back to The Birth Center?” John was firm that we should go back to see Ruth. As soon as I sat down in the car, I could feel the contractions even more strongly. I knew I was not getting back in the car again, so I agreed that going to The Birth Center was a good idea.
When we got back to The Birth Center, we went inside and gave Ruth an update. She continued to see patients as we walked around outside, back and forth in front of The Birth Center. We were chatting, and the kids were playing in the dirt with their trucks.
It had only been an hour and a half since Ruth had initially checked my cervix, but between patients, she came outside to talk to me. She asked if I wanted her to do another cervical check and reminded me that third babies can do things differently. We went inside, and I agreed to the cervical check.
Ruth laughed and said, “You’re nine and a half centimeters and 100 percent effaced. I need to call some people to assist with the delivery.” We went to the same room where I had birthed my second son. Ruth texted the other Ruth, the doula, and, for the first time, I felt like the baby was coming.
Pushing Through Fear and Meeting My Daughter
After Ruth checked me in at about 11 a.m., labor got intense really quickly. When I am in labor, I don’t have the typical contractions. I feel it all in my back. Ruth gave me sterile water shots, which didn’t help much. (They did provide substantial relief when my second baby was born, so I was disappointed they didn’t feel like they relieved the back pain as much this time.)
By about 11:20, all the birth assistants had arrived, and at 11:50, I felt the urge to push as I was lying down on the bed. I tried getting in a hands-and-knees position, but that didn’t feel right. All I could think was, “I need to get the baby down and out.” When I first started pushing, I pushed really hard, but it scared me. After a few more pushes, I felt so much pain in my back. I asked Ruth, “What do I need to do?” She replied, “Push like you did on that first push.” That wasn’t the answer I wanted.
But that’s why I love Ruth’s style. When I’m in labor, I don’t want to be comforted. I don’t want people to talk to me sweetly. I want someone to give me instructions on how to get out of the pain. Don’t tell me it’s natural or normal; tell me how to be done.
The bag of water was below the baby’s head. I had to push it down so Ruth could break it. After that happened, I knew I could push the baby out. I was very aware of all the noises around me, so I asked for someone to turn on some music. I was concerned I might hear my perineum tearing. Ruth applied oils and hot compresses to my perineum, which seemed to help so much with the pain.
I pushed for 18 minutes, and Sophie Grace was born at 12:08 p.m. on November 24, 2020, weighing 7 pounds, 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. I said, “Is she really a girl? Let me hold my baby!” Ruth put Sophie on my chest, and she peed all over me. A few seconds passed before she started crying.
Because of our two losses before Sophie, John and I were kind of holding our breath until she was born. That made her birth different than with our other two babies. When Sophie was born, it was surreal to hold her in my arms. I was so happy she was here. It was super special.
Bonding as a Family and Working Through Breastfeeding Challenges
Sophie stayed attached to her cord for about 20 minutes, and I delivered the placenta. I did not tear, so I didn’t need stitches. I really believe the compresses and oils Ruth uses make such a huge difference because I tore with my first son, but not with either baby delivered at The Birth Center.
We stayed at The Birth Center for about four hours. Since our older children were there, they got to come in right away and meet Sophie. They’re 6 and a half and 3 years old, so they watched TV and came in and out of the birth room. John and I hung out on the bed, and the birth team checked Sophie’s and my vitals a few times. It was peaceful, but we were ready to go home and be in our own space. We couldn’t wait to take her home.
From the first time Sophie latched on, it was painful. I figured she had tongue and lip ties because both of my other kids had them. When I saw Ruth the day after the birth, she confirmed that Sophie had tongue and lip ties. She was able to clip them that day at The Birth Center. My husband and I totally trust Ruth, so we were so thankful she could fix Sophie’s ties.
Breastfeeding was still rough for the next few days with a lot of pain. I saw Ruth again the next week, and she helped me train Sophie to keep her jaw open, rather than clench it tightly. Even though I have two other kids who nursed and had similar problems, there are still differences. I thought, “I should be better at this. Is nursing going to work out?” I love being able to go to Ruth and get that confidence boost. She let me know that everything’s going to get better.
We still have to work on Sophie’s latch sometimes, but, for the most part, breastfeeding is not painful anymore. Ruth’s breastfeeding resources are amazing. I trust her so much when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding. If we decide to have a fourth baby, I will not go anywhere except to Ruth.
For more information about our prenatal care and birth services at The Birth Center, visit https://www.sactobirth.com/prenatal andhttps://www.sactobirth.com/birth-services
#safebirth #sacramentobirthcenter #sacramentonursemidwives #sactobirth #birthcenterbirth