Ava's Birth Story
JULY 8, 2020
The Birth of Ava
By Ava’s Mom and The Birth Client Amber and her husband Ray
Amber
When my husband Ray and I learned we were expecting, we knew we wanted an out-of-hospital birth experience. We talked about home birth and started looking around to see what our options were. A friend of mine delivered two of her babies with Ruth, so we decided to visit The Birth Center.
Meeting Ruth during our tour was a wonderful experience. Sweet and intelligent, Ruth put us at ease and answered our questions. Her care and The Birth Center were exactly what we were looking for. I had all of my prenatal visits with Ruth and loved building a strong connection with my provider. Even during the pandemic, Ray was able to come to my appointments with me, which was really special.
At 36 weeks, we learned our baby was breech. It was scary to hear that, but Ruth gave us options, one of which was seeing a chiropractor who could use the Webster Technique. After just two adjustments, the baby flipped. I felt a lot of pressure and movement when she turned. An ultrasound confirmed that she was in a head-down position.
We were so grateful that Ruth gave us choices, especially because we knew that if we had been going to an obstetrician, a breech baby probably would’ve immediately meant a C-section. I continued seeing the chiropractor for regular adjustments, and we moved on with the rest of the pregnancy as normal.
Starting Labor at Home
Amber
My due date of July 3 came and went, but on the morning of July 6, I lost my mucus plug. Unsure about what it was, I reached out to Ruth. She explained that bloody discharge was a good sign and that I should be looking for contractions that got closer together and lasted longer. I felt cramps throughout the day, and they got stronger that night, so I kept Ruth updated.
It was nice and relaxing to be able to labor in the comforts of our own home. Ray and I alternated between the bed, the tub, and the birthing ball to help with the pain of the contractions. By about 5 a.m., my contractions were three minutes apart. We called Ruth, and she said it was time to go to The Birth Center. It was very exciting to know we would be meeting our baby soon.
Ray
When Amber was in labor, it was a process we were committed to. It was a lot of work, and we worked at it all night, sleeping when we could. Labor was quite a process to go through, but we were preparing for the baby to come, so we were happy to be doing it. We played the Hypnobirthing music and did labor together.
Working Through Contractions at The Birth Center
Amber
When we arrived at The Birth Center, Ruth was outside waiting for us. We got in the room, where the lights were on and the fan was going. Ruth had everything prepared, and it was mellow at first. She showed me some techniques for squatting and using the ball.
Our doula’s name was also Ruth, and she was amazing. She kept me relaxed, rubbed my lower back during contractions, and moved me into different positions. I went in the shower, and Ray put hot water on my lower back as I squatted to help the baby come down. I was having issues with a swollen cervix and was only 6 centimeters dilated. The baby was positioned a little sideways, and that was putting pressure on me.
Ray
Amber labored all day and did exercises like squats and lunges to stretch her cervix. Ruth coached us through and had Amber try different positions throughout the day. She kept us moving, and we were thrilled to do it because that was the plan.
We’d never met the doula Ruth before, but I can’t say enough good things about her. She was phenomenal and so helpful. She spent a lot of time with us, massaging Amber, getting her cold rags, and replenishing her water.
Amber
Although my contractions got stronger, my cervix was stuck at 6 centimeters. Around 10:30 a.m., Ruth broke my water. That made the contractions even stronger, but my dilation never progressed. Throughout the afternoon, Ruth had calmly told us that we might have to transfer to the hospital if my cervix didn’t dilate.
Ray
Ruth has a calming presence, and things never felt high alert or stressful. She was straightforward and wasn’t pushing for anything radical. At about 4 p.m., Ruth suggested we go for a walk around the building for a change of scenery. She thought maybe that would help bring the baby down and dilate Amber’s cervix. Then, around 4:30 p.m., Ruth checked Amber again. When we heard 6 centimeters, we were scared and disheartened.
Amber
It was hard that last time she checked me. I could tell in her voice that I wasn’t going to be able to have my baby there. I was heartbroken because we had really enjoyed being at The Birth Center. It was a little scary because I didn’t plan on going to the hospital, and Ruth couldn’t go with us because of COVID. It felt intimidating not to have my midwife and be with a doctor I’d never met.
Ray
We had listened to Hypnobirthing throughout Amber’s pregnancy, and it teaches you to go with the flow, whether it’s good or bad. We were determined to have a natural birth, and we kept a positive attitude at The Birth Center. But we had to pivot in a different direction. We pulled together that day. We pushed on and did the best we could.
Surrendering to a New Plan
Amber
Ruth called the hospital and let them know we were on our way. As we left The Birth Center in our car, we were still hoping for a vaginal birth at the hospital. When we got there, it was overwhelming. I went from moving around freely to having nurses tell me I would need an epidural and Pitocin. They took my vitals and hooked me up to an IV and a fetal monitor, which was so uncomfortable.
Ray
I hadn’t been to a hospital in years. What a night-and-day difference from being at The Birth Center. With COVID, we had been shielded from all the strict rules. At the hospital, there were temperature checks, required masks, and badges to get to different floors.
When the nurses started telling us about medications, it hit me like a brick wall. I was taken aback and not happy to hear things going this way. I requested to talk to the doctor by ourselves. She went over how things might go and said a C-section was a last resort.
I broke down a little bit and cried. Seeing Amber at The Birth Center where she had freedom and was comfortable and then stuck in bed, hooked up to a ton of machines, was very disheartening. But we were there for a reason, and we knew we had to go this route.
Amber
I was lying in the bed crying because the whole experience was so different. I went from a relaxing environment to stress. Around 8 p.m., I got an epidural and was able to sleep for about an hour or two. I woke up about 1 a.m. in so much pain and discomfort.
The contractions were constant, and I felt like I had to push. The nurse checked me, and I was still at 6 centimeters with a very swollen cervix. The baby’s heart rate dropped. Things started to happen really quickly. There were so many nurses in the room, and they put me on oxygen. I remember a nurse calling and telling everyone to prep the OR. It was very scary. Ray was asleep, so the nurses woke him up.
Ray
I was awoken by about six or seven nurses. “What is going on?” I thought. They explained Amber needed a C-section and that I would be able to go in with her. They wheeled her off, and I gowned up.
I sat in a chair across from the OR while they prepped her. I was scared and nervous but hoping for the best. I talked to the doctor before she started and said, “You do everything you can for Amber. Don’t let anything happen to her.” She assured me she would. The nurse popped out and let me know things were moving along and that they would be ready for me shortly. I was saying prayers, making sure God was on our side.
Amber
In the OR, it was bright, loud, and cold. There were lots of machines and people, including the anesthesiologist who had given me the epidural. The doctor was poking me, making sure I was numb. It felt like half of me was numb, and the other half was not. My legs wouldn’t stop shaking, and I was very scared and nervous. Ray came in and sat next to me.
Ray
They began cutting right away. I had been really excited to see our baby be born naturally, so I asked if I could stand up and watch the surgery. They said yes and got me a face shield. I watched the whole process as I was comforting Amber. Everything was moving quickly, and I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my body.
Amber
I was so tired, but I felt pressure, pulling, and tugging. I remember telling myself, “I’m not really having a C-section,” but I was. Then, I heard my baby cry. Ava was born at 1:57 a.m. on July 8. I got to see Ray holding her, and I knew she was safe. They asked me if I wanted to hold the baby, but I didn’t feel comfortable holding her at the time. They cleaned her up and measured her. She weighed 7 pounds, 13 ounces and was 20 inches long.
Ray
After Ava was born, she was behind me with a doctor and a nurse while Amber was being stitched up. I looked at our beautiful baby girl and noticed her big, red lips. I heard her cry for the first time, and that was cute. I went back and forth from watching the baby and looking at Amber. When they placed the baby in my arms, I could show Amber the baby. Ava and I went to the recovery room and waited for Amber.
Amber
In the recovery room, I got to do skin and skin with Ava, and she latched on right away. Even though the experience was not what I envisioned and planned for, it was exciting to meet Ava and love on her.
Ray
To see Amber with Ava was amazing. Feeling a sense of relief, I could relax and calm down. Amber was safe. Next, we went to a postpartum room, and we put Ava in the bassinet so we could get some sleep. Around 7:30 a.m., I woke up and got ready to go home. I needed to feed our animals and bring back some essential items. I looked at Ava and thought she was an odd color. When I mentioned it to Amber, she didn’t think anything of it, so I left.
Enduring a NICU Journey
Amber
A few minutes later, a nurse came in and noticed Ava’s skin color. A doctor also arrived, and there was talk of low oxygen, meconium in the lungs, or a heart murmur. The situation felt aggressive. Just like that, Ava was gone, and I was in the room by myself. I called Ray and let him know what was happening.
When the hospital staff updated us, they said Ava needed tests, a chest x-ray, and an ultrasound. They were trying to figure out why she wasn’t getting enough oxygen and said she would be admitted to the NICU. Because of hospital policies, we couldn’t see Ava for two days while we awaited the results of our COVID tests. During that time, I was pumping, but Ava also had formula.
When our COVID tests came back negative, we were allowed to go to the NICU, but only one at a time. A lactation consultant met me in the NICU, but Ava had gotten used to the bottle. It was frustrating and difficult to bond — not what you expect right after you have your baby.
It was hard giving her formula and seeing her with a full-face oxygen mask and an IV. She was such a tiny baby with all those wires. I was also having a hard time with healing. I couldn’t get up on my own, and I couldn’t change her diaper because standing hurt too much. I felt ripped away from some of those first experiences with my baby.
Ray
While the service at the hospital wasn’t very good in the beginning, the nurses and doctors were phenomenal after a while. The NICU nurses and the respiratory therapist were over-the-top amazing. We felt completely at ease, knowing Ava had the very best care in the NICU. Even the head of the NICU came into our room to talk with us.
After we were able to hold the baby, we loved spending time with her and getting to know who she was. The NICU staff let us know she would be leaving with us after four days. The hospital coordinated the discharges so they happened at about the same time. We left as a family and went home.
Reflecting on Our Experience
Amber
I’m so grateful for Ray, who was my rock throughout the whole experience. He motivated me to keep going, and he was my voice when I couldn’t talk. We both got emotional. I know it was hard for him to see me go through that.
During pregnancy, I had listened to what Hypnobirthing says about accepting the way birth and your baby take you. I had thought about if we couldn’t have her at The Birth Center, so I was able to process and work through that when it happened. When we were in it, it was hard. But I’m OK with it. It had to happen for our baby to be here safely. We’ve moved on, but we’re thankful for our experience at The Birth Center.
Ray
If we have another child, we would love to go back to The Birth Center if we qualify for a VBAC. I have nothing but great things to say about Ruth. We also saw her recently for a lactation appointment, and she was so helpful. She gave us time and her undivided attention, answering all of our questions.
Amber
Even though I didn’t get the natural birth I wanted, I found labor at The Birth Center to be empowering. I was connected to my baby through the contractions and the breathing. Working together with my baby was emotional in a good way. I hope a lot of women will try to do a natural birth.
For more information about our prenatal care and birth services at The Birth Center, click here: https://www.sactobirth.com/prenatal and https://www.sactobirth.com/birth-services
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